2016 was a difficult and frustrating year. I remember watching Laura Trott on TV after the Rio Olympics and her engagement was announced and she said that 2016 was the best year of her life. I couldn’t believe how my life could have been so different after hurting my knee and spending over half my year in rehab. However, it made me determined to appreciate 2017 as much as possible!
 My year started off struggling through the winter season, making small changes in each race and slowly gaining confidence. I ended my season by defending my British Ladies Champion title for the fourth year in the row, despite not performing as well as I wanted in a number of events it was nice to know my skiing was still there.
After the season, I passed my BASI Level 2 in Hintertux, Austria. This meant that I could spend a few weeks coaching younger, up and coming British skiers with ATC. The camps were really good fun and even though I was worn out by the end of them, coaching was so rewarding. I also spent a week in Chill Factor in Manchester, coaching for Ambition and Atomic racing camps.
In my downtime this summer I learnt how to kiteboard on the lake by my home in Varese, Italy. There isn’t loads of wind but there was enough for me to get up and going! I’m definitely looking forward to more windy days next summer so I can practice more. When the wind was down I learnt to wakeboard and water ski too which made the summer go by quickly.
Before I knew it, it was time to head down to Chile for a three-week speed camp. The training was amazing but the races didn’t go to quite to plan… I kept making silly mistakes. It was so frustrating especially since I knew I had been fast in training throughout the summer months. Just before the final set of races in El Colorado, I hurt my knee landing off a jump. It made the final races very challenging as I struggled with pain and dosing painkillers so I could still attempt to ski.
While I was in Chile, the awful news of hurricane Irma and Maria came through. The hurricanes passed straight through the British Virgin Islands, where my family has a sailing boat and where I have spent weeks on holiday for the past 15 years. Unfortunately, our boat sunk during the hurricane. However, it was little compared to the damage the islands have sustained. Parts of the island still don’t have power and running water nearly 4 months later. If there was ever a time to take a holiday to the Caribbean, go now! The islands look like they did 50 years ago before they started to be developed.
When I came back from Chile I took a three week break to give my knee some rest, and although it took me a few weeks to realise it, my head also wanted a break. Even though I wasn’t skiing through much of 2016, I never stopped working towards being fitter and stronger and I just needed a time-out. I had become so tired and fed up with not getting the results I wanted in racing that I was ready to pack skiing in completely. Everything just seemed so much harder than before, I was done fighting and I had forgotten what it was that I enjoyed about the sport so much. I needed all the time off to get my head back to a place where I knew exactly what I wanted: I held onto that Olympic dream.
When I put my skis back on I started skiing faster than I had in over a year. I was ready to go again! The racing hasn’t stopped this season. I’ve done nearly 30 races and it’s not even January. I made my first ever EuropaCup points in Giant slalom in Norway and had some great runs and races. As usual the issue is putting two good runs together in one race… In order to avoid the two run problem, in January I will be focusing on speed which consists of only one run! There are still 3 weeks of races left before the Olympic qualification date and I’ll be keeping that goal in mind every time I push out the start gate.
I would like to thank my equipment and personal sponsors for standing by me for the past 12 months. My parents and coaches for always believing in me and pushing me every day. Thank you for reading my blogs, I hope you’ve found them interesting!
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I’m on my way back to France after 10 days in cold and snowy Norway. The first Europa Cups of the season are done and I’m ready for more! The last time I came to Norway to compete in Europa Cup I left feeling beaten and wanting to head back to some friendly CIT races where I would start amongst the best and likely finish amongst the best. However, I as much as I think winning is one of the best feelings in the world, sometimes even just skiing the way you know you can and being fast is good enough.
The first races were two giant slalom in Hafjell.  The last time I was in Hafjell was for the World Junior Championships. I found the slope just as challenging, a mixture of roles and steeps. The first day I felt miles out of my depth. I was starting bib 89. 89. That’s a big number. Despite the piste conditions being great I let my bib number and the words “europacup” get to my head and I skied pretty terribly. My punishment was that I didn’t even make top 60 to get a second run. Back to the hotel with my tail between my legs; I needed to up my game. After watching my video it was pretty clear why I didn’t get a second run. I didn’t ski well or fight enough to deserve it. The next day I wanted two runs. I fought my way down the first run and just made the cut in 58th. I was annoyed. I had made it but the goal posts had moved. What was the point of being 58th? I wanted to be faster. My second run was good. It was the first time I had strung together my turns so they flowed and I took speed from one gate to a next. Yes, there were mistakes in there but it was a baby step. I moved up 10 places and told myself to remember that skiing for the next race.
After Hafjell I headed to Kvitfjell. On the program one giant slalom, two super gs and a super combined. I was lucky to have two days of super g training on the race slope. It was great, my times were fast and I was feeling confident. First up was the GS. I was starting 77. I just had to make up 17 places for a second run. The weather was horrible, snow, wind and fog. It was brilliant because I love it when the weather is bad! I crossed the finish line and turned around to see my time and saw the number 31 next to my name. My initial reaction was “sh*t”. And then suddenly I realised that this was a Europa Cup and I had moved up 46 places. Not too bad! I ended up in 32nd (nice job C. Guest!) and was ready for second run. Except the weather gods turned against us and second run was cancelled. And then they decided that second run would be the following morning… and unfortunately one of the super G’s would be cancelled. The next day the weather was unfortunately better and the snow conditions unfortunately worse. The snow broke and was very bumpy and instead of attacking the course I retreated. However, I had a little bit of luck and finished in 29th! My first ever Europa Cup points!
The next day was the Super G. I was really excited, the course looked great and I just hoped the snow would hold out for me going bib 60. I skied the top part of the course really well and then I made a dreaded mistake just before the flat. I scrubbed all my speed. At my top split I was in last place. I did my best on the flat, trying to glide and take as much speed as I could out of every turn and I finished 45th, 3 seconds off the leader. I was so annoyed at myself for making the mistake but the positive was that without the mistake I was fast and that’s what I’m taking to my next races.
So I’ve come away from Norway feeling satisfied but hungry for more. I was up there with the top girls and when I manage to string two fast runs together in the same race then I’ll really have my place in Europa Cup. Next stop is Andalo, Italy, for two Europa Cup GS. I’m excited and ready to ski fast. My mum always says to me “you’ll ski fast when you’re ready”. It drives me nuts because I always feel ready but she’s right. When everything comes together I’ll be fast and through hard work, perseverance and time I’ll get there. 

That’s it, summer is over! I’ve just got home from my camp down in Chile, South America. We had the most amazing training. I hardly saw a cloud in three weeks and the snow was either hard and grippy or ice!
When my coaches said we were going to do a speed camp but I didn’t take them seriously. In 20 days of skiing I only spent one day on my GS skis and one day on my slalom skis – paradise! In Europe during the winter I’m lucky to get three days of Super G training and I’ve never done downhill training so it really was amazing and exactly what I needed.
We had two series of races down in Chile and the first ones were in La Parva. There were two downhills and a Super G. I did quite well in the downhill training runs, finishing amongst the top girls and I was excited for the races! There is quite a big jump at the 3rd gate in La Parva, probably the biggest jump I’ve ever done and it’s followed by a long flat section. Unfortunately, in the first race I completely messed up my jump which resulted in me being very slow along the flat and down the rest of the course. I was annoyed to have messed up in the race run but determined to show what I could do in the second race. In the second race I skied much better and I was happy with my run, my time wasn’t quite as fast as I would have liked but it was still a good day.
After the end of the races we had the weekend off and decided to go to Santiago for the day. Despite having been to Chile two times before, I’d never actually spent any time in Santiago and it was really cool to wander around the traditional markets. We walked up a hill to get a view over the city and even had a chance to do a bit of shopping in some outlets. It was a much-needed break from living at nearly 3000m. We returned to Los Farellones under a blanket of fresh snow. Fresh snow meant speed training was off the cards so we had to do a day of slalom!
Once the snow had hardened up again it was back into training for the second series of races which would be in El Colorado, on the hill we trained on! I had a great week of super g and downhill training and I was feeling especially good in downhill. We were due to have two days off before the start of the races but there was an option to train another day of downhill which I just couldn’t resist, I listened to my heart rather than my body… There is also a jump in the downhill in El Colorado. I’m not a natural jumper but I have been working very hard on my jumps this summer and I do enjoy them; my knee though does not enjoy them. The take-off is fine but the landing… not so much! Despite doing a good jump I hurt my knee on the landing of my last run of the day. I had a day of rest before the start of the races.
It wasn’t enough, my knee really needed a few weeks off. I persisted through and I went from skiing in pain on no painkillers and being really slow to skiing with no pain on a lot of painkillers and being extremely slow (due to my head being on another planet!). Downhill was last up and I made it over the jumps without injury and my times were good, especially considering how much pain I was in.
The races didn’t go to plan but the training in Chile was so amazing that I know it will pay off this winter! I’m now back home again for a few weeks rest before I head to the glacier in Tignes to begin my autumn training.          That’s it, summer is over! I’ve just got home from my camp down in Chile, South America. We had the most amazing training. I hardly saw a cloud in three weeks and the snow was either hard and grippy or ice!


When my coaches said we were going to do a speed camp but I didn’t take them seriously. In 20 days of skiing I only spent one day on my GS skis and one day on my slalom skis – paradise! In Europe during the winter I’m lucky to get three days of Super G training and I’ve never done downhill training so it really was amazing and exactly what I needed.
We had two series of races down in Chile and the first ones were in La Parva. There were two downhills and a Super G. I did quite well in the downhill training runs, finishing amongst the top girls and I was excited for the races! There is quite a big jump at the 3rd gate in La Parva, probably the biggest jump I’ve ever done and it’s followed by a long flat section. Unfortunately, in the first race I completely messed up my jump which resulted in me being very slow along the flat and down the rest of the course. I was annoyed to have messed up in the race run but determined to show what I could do in the second race. In the second race I skied much better and I was happy with my run, my time wasn’t quite as fast as I would have liked but it was still a good day.
After the end of the races we had the weekend off and decided to go to Santiago for the day. Despite having been to Chile two times before, I’d never actually spent any time in Santiago and it was really cool to wander around the traditional markets. We walked up a hill to get a view over the city and even had a chance to do a bit of shopping in some outlets. It was a much-needed break from living at nearly 3000m. We returned to Los Farellones under a blanket of fresh snow. Fresh snow meant speed training was off the cards so we had to do a day of slalom!
Once the snow had hardened up again it was back into training for the second series of races which would be in El Colorado, on the hill we trained on! I had a great week of super g and downhill training and I was feeling especially good in downhill. We were due to have two days off before the start of the races but there was an option to train another day of downhill which I just couldn’t resist, I listened to my heart rather than my body… There is also a jump in the downhill in El Colorado. I’m not a natural jumper but I have been working very hard on my jumps this summer and I do enjoy them; my knee though does not enjoy them. The take-off is fine but the landing… not so much! Despite doing a good jump I hurt my knee on the landing of my last run of the day. I had a day of rest before the start of the races.
It wasn’t enough, my knee really needed a few weeks off. I persisted through and I went from skiing in pain on no painkillers and being really slow to skiing with no pain on a lot of painkillers and being extremely slow (due to my head being on another planet!). Downhill was last up and I made it over the jumps without injury and my times were good, especially considering how much pain I was in.


The races didn’t go to plan but the training in Chile was so amazing that I know it will pay off this winter! Mang thanks to Greg and the rest of the Orsatus team for a great camp. I’m now back home again for a few weeks rest before I head to the glacier in Tignes to begin my autumn training.       

My European summer training has come to an end. Having spent a total of 10 weeks on snow this summer I’ve really been making the most of the conditions before heading down to Chile in 10 days time.
My skiing started in June with three weeks in Val d’Isere, France. The Val d’Isere glacier is definitely my favourite: you can drive all the way up to it, there are no queues for the lifts, it has a great speed piste and there are lots of summer activities in the afternoon. I even managed to tick the Col de L’Iseran and the Tignes climb off the bucket list on my road bike! Unfortunately, the hot weather in June took its toll on the glacier and it didn’t have as much snow as it usually would. The snow didn’t always refreeze overnight however this meant that the conditions were perfect for slow drills and working on my technique. Having not skied last summer due to my knee, it was exactly what I needed.
Next, I was off to Hintertux for two weeks of coaching for ATC with Iain Innes. I get a real sense of accomplishment when I see younger athletes improve and kids are great fun to work with. I was absolutely exhausted at the end of the two weeks but I’m so glad I took a little bit of time out of my own training. A huge thank you to ATC for being so accommodating and letting me join their coaching team.
After Hintertux it was straight back into my training with two weeks on the glaciers in Les Deux Alpes. It was insanely busy, I managed to get about 2 runs an hour as the queues were never ending. The snow conditions were great first thing but it started to get soft by about the third run of the day which made queueing even more frustrating! However, I managed some excellent days of GS training where I really felt that I made the next step forward in my skiing. I’ve been focusing on bringing 100% to my first run of the day and also understanding how to use my strength from all those hours in the gym, on my skis. When my skiing clicked into place my runs got almost 2 seconds faster!
Finally, it was time to head home to Varese, Italy for a week off snow. I spent the week in the lake every day, water skiing, wake boarding and attempting to kiteboard however there wasn’t enough wind! There was a heat wave at home and the temperature was above 40 degrees most days! It was just the little summer break I needed as the following week I was in the Manchester Snow Dome: Chill Factore for 4 days of representing Atomic UK and coaching Ambition racing. I was coaching the younger kids and I had such a brilliant time; they made me smile all day and had such great attitudes to racing. It was really nice to be able to represent Atomic skis in the UK and see kids testing them out and enjoying skiing on them as much as I do. A massive thank you to Atomic UK for their continued support and to Ambition for having me along as a coach.
After Manchester, it was time to get back to the snow in Les Deux Alpes. The glacier had actually been closed for the two weeks I hadn’t been there due to the scorching temperatures in an attempt to save the biggest glacier in Europe. It was half saved… The bottom part of the glacier was a mine field of rocks designed to rip apart your bases and the top part of the glacier had been stripped of snow and left with solid, skiddy, juddery glacial ice. On the plus side, the queues were gone! The training was still really good. I had no edges left after 2 runs and the conditions were really challenging but it should mean that when I’m next on snow and it’s not sheet ice then I should find it much easier.
The next time I’m back on snow will be in El Colorado, Chile in 10 days time! I’m so excited to get there and start racing; there are loads of speed races lined up which are going to be so much fun!
As you can see this summer I have been spending time coaching. Despite this cutting into my own training time, the money I earn is going towards helping me qualify for the Olympics this coming winter. I have also set up an Easyfundraising account, this site is brilliant as you can help me raise money without it costing you a penny! If you do any online shopping from groceries to holidays to clothes and electricals please go via my page and the shops will donate a percentage of money towards me with every purchase you make! You can check it out here: https://www.easyfundraising.org.uk/causes/carabrown/ 

All of a sudden the season comes to a very abrupt end. It gets me every year, I think I’ve still got months to go but then I’m suddenly packing up and heading back home. I think this year surprised more because my season only really going in January; rather than having 6 months in summer and autumn to prepare for it, I only had December.
It’s hard to come out the end of the season and to not focus on results. I find myself browsing through Fisski.com trying to work out where I’ll be sat in next year’s world rankings and I have to admit, I’m always disappointed. If skiing results were plotted on a graph and the winner was decided based on improvement then I would have done pretty well. In my first races this year I scored 54 points. That’s worse than what I was scoring 3 years ago. I finished off with scoring a 27 and 28, it’s not 18 points, on paper it’s nothing to be proud of and it feels like a very small consolation for all the work I put into my rehab last year. Yet everyone tells me to look at my improvement and that I should be proud of what I’ve accomplished.
There were definitely a few moments that I was proud of this season. After my knee last year I was determined that I could come back and win my British title for the fourth year in a row and I managed that. I also had some wins in Super G and standing on top of the podium always feels good. Even though I couldn’t string two fast runs together in Giant Slalom I more than once won a run and it showed me that with more time on skis and confidence I would be back winning both runs again!
I think the main accomplishment this season was that it really showed me the motivation and perseverance I have for this sport. 27 points isn’t enough, 18 points isn’t enough, I don’t think it will every feel like enough until I’m stood on the top of the World Cup podium. When I look back at this season I realise it really never was about results, it was always about finding myself and finding my reasons to keep skiing and in that case: mission accomplished.

My training has been fairly up and down for the last month. My knee was doing so well at the beginning of January that alongside my coaches, we decided I could try out some speed. I foreran the men’s Downhill in Tignes. It was brilliant fun until I landed badly off the jump and hurt my knee quite badly. I knew nothing was torn but I had bad bone bruising and I later found out that I had manged to rotate my fibula… I had to take a week off and when I got back on skis I was so worried about hurting myself again that I ended up taking another week off to get my head in the right place.
 I struggled to find GS training at the beginning of the month due to the lack of European snow and then when the snow finally arrived the conditions were too soft to train! In total I’ve had about 10 days of GS training since I did my knee last April. Nevertheless, World Champs St Moritz 2017 has been my goal for so long that I wasn’t ready to give it up.
As I was ranked 53rd on the World Championships start list and only the top 50 girls automatically qualify for the race, I had to compete in the qualification race on Monday in which I had to finish top 25 to qualify. I was happy to have to do this race as it gave me an extra day in gates and a race! My first run in the qualification race was very timid; I feel like I need the first run to convince myself that my knee is going to be ok. I was sat in 21st place after first run, not what I was looking for! My second run was better and I finished 18th overall. My skiing on the steep was still too timid but my flat was fast. I had the 22nd time on the steep and the 6th best time on the flat! The aim was to qualify for the GS on Thursday though and anything on top of that would have been a bonus so I got the result I was looking for.
I went to watch the parallel event on Tuesday which was really good fun and made me wish my knee had been ready to go off the jump so the British team could have shown the world how awesome we are! On Wednesday I freeskied on the race hill. It had a lot of terrain in it but the snow looked great. I trained GS afterwards and was so happy because my coach said I finally managed to attack the course from the first run. I felt so ready for the race on Thursday, I had prepared as well as I could and I knew if I skied my best I could make the second run. (top 60)
I was feeling really positive on Thursday morning, the course looked great in inspection, I had a great warm up and my knee felt good. As I watched the top girls from the finish I told myself that I could ski like them and put down an awesome run. As I stood in the start gate for my run I said to myself “this is it, you’ve made it, all you need to do now is attack the course and go fast!”.
I thought my run started off well, I made a small mistake up top but didn’t feel like I’d lost much speed. When I came onto the steep I felt like I skied well even though I knew I could tighten up my line a bit. When I hit the flat I grabbed the tuck and tried my best to go faster and faster. When I crossed the finish line I was sure I had had a good run and given it my all. The disappointment on my face was obvious as soon as I saw my time. I was in 43rd position but 7 seconds off the leader. I couldn’t believe it. I wasn’t angry at myself because I thought I’d done my best but I was so upset. My coach later told me that he thought I had hurt my knee when I made the mistake at the top because of the way I skied the rest of the course… too timid again despite feeling like I had given it 100%.
My coaches said my skiing was good considering the limited training I’ve had and the other girls told me not to worry because they know how fast I am and coming back from knee surgery just 8 months ago I’m doing really well. It’s still upsetting to see how many steps back I’ve taken since I hurt myself. Physically my knee is great and I’m fitter than I’ve ever been. I’m missing time on skis and in gates. Mentally I was doing well but I’ve been slightly crushed by my time today. I believe that hard work will always pay off in the end and I’m doing everything I can to be fast but I just need more time. I’m heading back to France now to get back into training now that the conditions are great and I’m looking forward to finding my fast feet again for my next races. 

I did my ACL, I bet you’re jealous. This phrase came to me last week when I was thinking over all the good things that have come from my injury. As I was in the gym (my home away from home) I thought back to all the things I have learnt about my body and my mind; and it doesn’t stop there.
I’ve learnt so many new exercises to enhance my balance, strength, power, coordination. My awareness of my body has improved. I’m sure that when I put my skis back on I will be very conscious of my new knee but eventually I will probably forget that it is any different to my other knee. However, the awareness of what my legs are doing all the time will stay with me, even though it may be subconscious. Given that I ski (most of the time) on two legs, it could make a big difference. Through spending so much time with physios they have of course discovered plenty of other parts of my body that can be improved. Primarily the alignment of my hips that I can now work on with stretching and strengthening exercises. It may not make a difference but in a sport where every hundredth counts, why not try?
As I move onto the final stages of my rehab I have learnt the importance of eccentric strength in skiing. For example, when you come into a skiing turn you “sink” into the turn by bending your legs and this is a controlled descent that is vital to ensure you can then power back up out of the turn. When I crashed and tore my ACL I was pushed down into the turn and then catapulted out after the gate. Maybe if my eccentric strength was improved I could have had more control coming out of the turn.
Mentally what have I learnt about myself? Firstly, that perseverance does pay off. I take great pride in knowing that my knee wouldn’t be looking as good as it does today if it wasn’t for all the hard work I put in. Secondly, you really do have to hit rock bottom to see how far you can push yourself, it’s hard to beat someone that never gives up.
So, despite adding a little bit more determination to my personality I’ve also had to improve my patience skills (which were basically non existant to begin with…!). The three things that annoy me most are: being told I can’t do something, being told to slow down and not knowing what my next step is; give me an injury and you get all of those! I’ve had to adjust and learn new coping methods that I think have helped me grow into a better person.
But I think that biggest thing that I’ve learnt is appreciation. It’s small things like jumping, kneeling or being able to shower without a plastic bag on, to the bigger things like being in the mountains and of course skiing. Do sports get any more awesome than skiing?! “What do you do? I get to spend every day in the most incredible places skiing, enjoying myself and occasionally winning some medals”. Ok so it may not be everyone’s cup of tea when you add that you also spend over 10 hours a week in a gym, injury is a risk and it’s always cold... it still sounds pretty perfect to me. You really do have to lose something to realise how much you miss it. Every day I get to spend on my skis counts.
All I’m saying is that if I was you I’d be pretty jealous I hadn’t done my ACL. 

I put my skis back on 3 weeks ago and it’s been non-stop ever since. Finally, I’ve found some time to sit down a write a blog for the first time in a few weeks!
My first day back on skis was on the 19th November, 6 months and 2 days after my knee op. I went skiing in Val Thorens with my parents. It was the opening weekend so it was crazy busy but I didn’t care, I was so excited to put my skis back on. Everything felt a little weird, being on skis was such a foreign concept but as the same time very familiar. After two tentative turns everything came back to me and I was off. It’s hard to explain how happy I was at the bottom of my first run. All my hard work and the hard work that everyone who helped me get back on my skis had paid off and I could do what I love once again, with no pain.
I started skiing on my slalom skis, taking it fairly easy, doing drills and getting my balance back. I skied for a few hours every morning and made sure I was back in the gym in the afternoon to keep working on my fitness and especially my hamstring strength that was still slightly down in my left leg. After my first day of skiing everything in my body, except my knee, was aching! I did a lot of hours of training in the gym and on the bike this summer but I don’t think anything truly prepares you for the leg burn of skiing… and squeezing your feet back into race boots! In the gym I have started working more on my leg endurance doing intense exercises like jumps on a trampoline for at least a minute and slowly but surely my muscle endurance is returning.
After switching from my slalom skis to my giant slalom skis for a few weeks (btw the new Atomic GS skis are awesome!) my coaches suggested that I give a few runs in gates a try. I went up this morning feeling excited at the prospect of hitting some plastic! I had a really good warm up and then suddenly I was in the start gate. I looked down at the first gate and thought “oh my god, I’m really going to do this!”. Reaching the bottom of my first run was the best feeling in the world. It finally sunk in that I was back on my skis for good and my mind and body were ready to train harder and go faster.
I ended up doing 5 runs today, which may seem like a lot for a first day back in gates but I had no pain at all in my knee. The coaches were pleased with my skiing and they didn’t make any mention of me looking like I was skiing on one leg or protecting my knee! 
I feel stronger than in April now and I’m looking forward to my next day in gates (even though it may be in slalom!). I few months ago I wrote a final blog about my knee, I never posted it but you can have a read of it here. It’s called “I did my ACL, I bet you’re jealous”.
My return to snow has also been supported by a new family of girls, who do extreme sports ranging from freestyle skiing to skateboarding and wakeboarding. This awesome team have been brought together She Shreds Co: A clothing company whos aim is to support girls in extreme sports around the world. They make awesome on snow and off snow clothing that you can check out here. You can also get a 10% discount code by using CaraBrown at the checkout! My favourite pieces are the Powder Day tops and the long shirts.
A final thank you to the people and companies that have stood by me throughout this injury and helped me back onto snow: Alpine Management Services, Delancey, Ladies Ski Club, Kandahar Ski Club, Boing, Snowsport Scotland, Insure and Go, Orsatus, Atomic Uk, Ortema, Body Barrier and Reusch Uk.

This year I came across the hardest few months I’ve ever experienced as an athlete. At the end of the season on April 5th I ruptured my ACL ligament in my left knee. This is the most common injury in ski racing, mainly due to the fact that we have a 1m80 piece of wood on the end of our feet that stops the knees ability to bend in all directions when under stress (like in a crash). I have previously written about the work I have been doing in rehab to heal my knee but this is only half the story. Half the battle is in the mind and I am interested in finding out whether each athlete mentally goes through the same process or it differs greatly from person to person. If you’ve experienced an injury of any kind, athlete or not, I’d love to hear about your journey!
I have kept a diary throughout my rehab where I log the exercises I’ve done but also how I’ve felt. I created a “mental timeline” where every few days I just write the a few words to describe how I’m feeling. It’s a quick and easy way to get something off my chest and it’s nice to look back at when I’m having a bad day to remind me that I’ve overcome worse. The day I crashed my mind immediately went into catastrophising mode. I didn’t want to ski anymore and I didn’t want to put in the work required to get back to full health! Why should I have to put in the extra work and suffer, why did it happen to me. My mind turned incredibly selfish: “I’ve worked too hard for this to happen to me”, “no one else has to do this” and probably the most difficult thought “everyone else who has torn their ACL has had it easier than me”.  Now writing about my thoughts they sound so silly but when something big happens my mind directs itself inwards. The worst thing that somebody could say to me was to relate my injury to someone else’s. I didn’t care about anyone else’s injury! Mine was clearly a bigger deal. 5 months on I can see that actually having someone else’s point of view and experience was really helpful.
I took me a few weeks to get over feeling sorry for myself and decide that I could make it through. I felt like the world was against me, my surgeon told me I would have to wait 6 weeks for surgery, I couldn’t have the operation I wanted and I was panicking about getting into a rehab centre. I spent hours searching online for stories of people who had made miraculous ACL recoveries in just a few months but eventually I couldn’t lie to myself anymore, I was in this one for the long run.
I got stuck into doing my prehab despite knowing that after my operation everything would go backwards again before it went forwards. I was so ready when I went into my operation, I walked (literally) into the operating theatre determined to get this show on the road! My mind surprised me again after the operation when I suddenly had a drop in my determination again. I asked myself if I really wanted to do this, did I really want to dedicate the next 6 months to hard work to get back on skis? It took me a whole week before I realised how much I missed skiing and I was ready to do whatever it would take to get back.
As soon I was in rehab my mind refocused on getting better. My days were filled with everything to make my knee better and having my mind occupied on one goal set me back on track. I came to accept my injury and see the good side of it. I was learning so much about fitness, strength and my body that everyone who was skiing wasn’t learning. I began to understand that what I thought was hard work before didn’t even come close to how hard I was now working. I think my recovery is almost an easier goal to work towards than a specific race or competition. It can take weeks to see improvement on skis but in rehab is a gradual everyday process and you can clearly see your body healing and strengthening.
Last week somebody asked me if I had every considered quitting skiing. My answer was that I never had until I hurt my knee but every time I did I ended up with the same answer: I have worked far too hard, given up too much and love this sport too much to stop. My journey in skiing is far from over and I still have so much more to give to it. 

I have now fully settled into the rehab routine. It’s kind of like the routine I get into during the season with getting up and going skiing before going to the gym, except now I get up and go to the gym... and then go to the gym again. I’ve spent 6 weeks in the IRU now, so much so that the chef has my breakfast ready for me every morning before I even arrive!
My day starts at 8am with my mobility session which is 3 series of 5 exercises to help my knee’s extension and flexion. Despite my full flexion and extension having completely returned it’s still important to maintain it. My mobility takes me about half an hour and I will then ice my knee for 15 minutes which takes me up to 9am which is when I head to the gym!
First up is a physiology session. I’ve never had the chance to do any physiology testing before but whilst I’m in the IRU in Bisham, Luke, the physiologist, has been monitoring me very closely! This includes my sleeping patterns, hydration levels and lactate production. In order to create a program  that works me to the right level we tested my maximum power capacity on the bike and also my endurance capacity. From this data Luke works out at which power and heart rate I should be working for my maximum benefit. Whilst I’m on the bike he even takes blood samples to test my lactate and check that I’m working hard enough! I’m on the bike 5-6 days a week. For those of you that know me, and my love of cycling (not!), will be surprised to hear that I am actually really starting to enjoy spending time on the bike and I have therefore invested in my own road bike!
After my fitness session I have soft tissue therapy. Cass, is the soft tissue therapist and she makes sure that all the soft tissue in my legs is moving as it should be. At the moment we’re working on my scars to make sure they don’t go all hard and lumpy; this means Cass gets to dig a curved metal tool into my scars to smooth them out, this was pretty painful before my scars fully healed.
Once I’m all loosened up I will either see Sarah the psychologist, who I see twice a week, or Wendy the nutritionist, that I see once a week. Sarah has been great at finding techniques to help me through my injury but also to help me when I’m back on skis. There are so many things that I can take from my rehab to my skis. She is also brilliant at helping me see the positive side to everything – the first time I met her she told me that every situation is neutral, you decide whether it is positive or negative and I try to remember that! Wendy makes sure that I’m eating everything I should be to help my knee and my training. I have started taking some vitamins and collagen to help with my knee heal. I also now have a better understanding of the amount of protein that my body requires for the amount of training I do! Building muscle is a huge part of rehab and it’ s important to understand what my body needs to be able to do this.
During my lunch break I refuel for my afternoon and I also re-ice my knee and do my mobility session again. It’s also a nice time to relax for a while, and of course keep up to date with Bethan, who works at the reception and does an amazing job keeping everything in the IRU in check!
After lunch I head into physio with Andy. First up he always checks that I still have my full leg extension and that there is no pain or swelling in my knee. At the beginning of my rehab process Andy was vital in helping me get my mobility back but now it’s more a case of making sure all the small bits around my knee are exactly as they should be. This means lots of poking, prodding and massaging. He flushes out any swelling that may be in my joint and also stretches all my muscles.
My progress is also closely followed by the doctor who is on site one day a week and is always available to check in with if I have any issues. It is so reassuring to always have someone watching my knee and I know that I’m in excellent hands.
Finally, my day finishes with one of the most important sessions and one that I am definitely enjoying more and more every day: my strength and conditioning session! Fionn has been the S&C coach for the last 7 weeks of my rehab. We do so many different exercises in the gym that it’s hard to explain a standard session but at the moment we are focusing on rebuilding my hamstring in my injured leg. I lost 3 cm of muscle in my leg after my operation but I started rebuilding my quad straight away and now I almost have two matching quad muscles. However due to a piece of my hamstring being removed for the operation I had to wait 6 weeks before I could work my hamstring again, before this it was just too painful. So, obviously I have lost a lot of hamstring muscle during this time. Fionn is making up for lost time now though by making sure my hamstrings are being worked every day through a variation of exercises. We alternate a day of heavy lifting with a day of more body weight exercises that also challenge my balance and coordination. It’s great that there is such a big variation of exercises so every part of me is working. I also do an upper body session 2 or 3 times a week to keep everything in balance.
After dinner I go back into the gym to do my mobility session and ice my leg one more time. It is amazing to see the progression that I have achieved in just 2 months with the help of everyone at the IRU. I’m really excited to see how much more I can do before I get back on skis. I’m in a really happy position with my injury at the moment. It’s exciting to see how far I can push my body in the gym or on the bike and I can’t wait to see how much of a difference my higher fitness levels are going to make when I get my skis back on!